the inner workings of my mind

So my life is one of turmoil at this point... i really feel like i am so blessed and that all of that i know has changed from black and white to these unreal shades of gray. The things that i have prayed about not thinking that they would be answered have been answered in strange ways and definitely not the way that i ever would have thought. i feel like friends in my life have uplifted me in ways that i am not able to put into the right words. i am fascinated that the roles that you are comfortable in constantly change and evolve into new and different roles within those relationships. sometimes this is painful sometimes its humbling to know that nothing will ever stay the same. i am amazed that friendships that were forged years ago became something you had no clue would forever alter your life. that those people are the ones that lift you up a decade later! i learned that a few kind words go a long way but words that are said in the spirit of fun can actually sting and hurt more than people can know. i learned that i need to be aware of what i do say so that i don't hurt others. i learned that a few quality hours with a friend laughing and really talking means the world to me.

just a funny thought!

so in preparation for my trip to Ireland I am trying to get my passport stuff all done. I had a passport but it expired 2 years ago but I am nervous about the fact that its not 15 years old. In my great wisdom I put my old passport in a safe place that is soooo safe that I cannot figure out where I put it! I have searched and searched for it to no avail! Okay, so this is my funny thought, I went to fill out my passport online and then thought maybe I should fill out the lost passport paperwork just in case and one of the questions is what date was this lost and where was it lost. My thought to this is, is if I knew what date and time I, myself, lost this dont you think it wouldn't be lost!?! (yes, I understand that in some instances you would know but I just think its a funny question to be asked!)

Home Depot and I!

Well my tale with Home Depot continues! So today I had to go back to home depot to get more glue and to get the wood to finish my tap boards... So you know how you can saw your own wood... yeah I thought to myself I can totally do that all by myself! I don't know if it was a good decision... That will be determined tomorrow when i actually sit down and finish them! but here is what I do know. Tzenni-Bah and I should not be carpenters! I don't know if any of the lengths is the true length that we need and we kept mitering the wrong way! I am glad that I didn't have to pay for all the wood cuz it was expensive! Tzennibah and i literally built the wood frame on the ground cuz the wood cuts never looked right! A guy walked by and we joked with him that we were definitely not carpenters and he laughed at us laying the wood out on the ground! At one point Tzenni-Bah had 3 pieces of wood in her hands like it was nailed together and was trying to lay them in a different direction... the funniest thing was the look on her face as she was trying to keep the wood together and swing in the desired direction! I darn well wish that I had my camera! Good news though... MY KEYS WERE FOUND!

What a Day!

So today I got up and decided that when i worked out I would run a mile straight on the treadmill, then do my weightlifting and my abs and then I would go to pick up the caulking gun and stuff from Home Depot. I would then drop off my mail and then go to the bank and the grocery store... I would get all this stuff done after having my friends leave and feel like I got stuff accomplished on my day off! So I ended up doing the workout part... I was nice and red and really really sweaty ! I leave and go around the corned to Home Depot. I walk through that huge home depot and get all my stuff and checkout. I start to go to my car and start digging through my purse for my keys...COULD NOT FIND THEM!!! you know those moments where you are frantically searching and all for not... that was this instant! i searched through my purse 3-4 times and then thought just retrace your steps its going to be OK! NO such luck... NO KEYS... and nope nobody turned them in either! so I started walking! By the way, my phone was in my car charging and all the numbers that I do have memorized were no good because they were all gone out of state! So I decided that i would just have to start walking! I walked back up this HUGE hill... its actually this hill that many times I have thought uugh I would not ever want to have to walk up this hill! You know I can say that I conquered that darn hill and it wasn't as horrible as I thought! But definitely by the top I did know that I had walked up a hill! Thank goodness that when I got home Kim was about to leave for work and was able to drive me back to my car! You know I have to say I was proud of myself... I got two workouts in and I didn't really stress to the point I think I would have before... No tears! I just hope that someday I will be able to actually find those keys!

I love the 4th of July!

LONG MAY YOU WAVE
so this is us sitting right off the Ocean Beach Pier and chilling waiting for the beautiful fireworks! Truly the best to be sitting with those you love in a country that you love and to know that you are truly blessed!

one of the reasons I love this country so much is because of this man and woman right here! I love to talk to my grandpa about his time in the navy! He talked about his time on the Saratoga and his duties there and about sitting in New Guinea and hearing washing machine Charlie... the Japanese plane that flew overhead every night. Some of my most vivid memories though are of my grammie taking me to the marine corp base to watch the parades and the bands that would walk by... to this day every time I hear drums beating it brings tears to my eyes and I am proud to say that I am American! I didn't realize it but my grandma does the same thing! But I am eternally grateful for the armed forces and all that they do!

Annie and Charlotte came to partake of some amazing burgers and some good times filled with family and friends! Charlotte was so patriotic and cute with stars and ruffles and the cutest hat any kid could wear!

Joel and I cheezin it up... I can't believe he actually smiled normal!

the day started off with us getting up and going to church for a yummy breakfast that the boy scouts put on! Michael asked if he needed money and not thinking about it I reply no... what do you know but as soon as we get off the elevator and turn the corner we see the donation container... lucky I had 4 dollars in my purse and we were all embarrassed as we handed in a dollar and watched as Tzenni-bah gave all the change she had on her! Then I got to watch Jackson and get some good love time in on him... that is until dumb Michael swooped in with his charm and stole the love time away... Kim did warn me but Michael charmed yet another kid away from thinking his auntie is the best!